May I be the First

~ to Offer~

My Congratulations

by Mr. David R. Dorrycott

Amelia Allworthy, Helen Ducros & other Songmark characters copyright

Mr. Simon Barber. Used with permission.

Pan-American flight 73-W from San Frisco gently slipped into the waters of Spontoon harbor without even a bounce. It was an unherald tribute to the pilots skill, and Spontoon’s protected waters (second only to those in Pearl Harbor) along with a constant water patrol to clear debris from said waters. Engines roared as the craft made a stately turn, reversing course in order to approach its newly waiting terminal on Casino Island. What had once been an occasional stopover, an afterthought had now become one of the companies more profitable short run Pacific routes. Easing up to a wharf the aircrafts engines spun down, leaving her passengers wondering for a few moments if they had gone deaf, so used had their ears become to the constant roar since take off.

A click announced the ships intercom coming on. This was followed by a voice chosen for its sound, not the owners flying ability. “Ladies and Gentlemen. This is Captain Carter wishing those of you who are debarking here an enjoyable stay upon wonderful exotic Spontoon Island. For those of you who will be joining us for the remainder of our flight, our layover here will be six hours. Please follow the Air Hostess’s instructions while debarking and I wish to convey my crew and companies hope that your trip has been an enjoyable one.” That click came again, announcing to all who cared that the intercom was now off. In the cockpit 73-W’s Chief Engineer returned the microphone to his Captain and friend. “Too bad about that cough sir” he said with a knowing grin. Among the crew it was well known that Captain Carter, with his gravelly voice caused by a wound in the Great War, hated making those announcements. Thus the more than occasional ‘coughing fits’ that would occur as they approached their berths or took off.

Back in the ships passenger compartment a stately figure of a fox waited until the press was over. He much hated the press of people, be they of Common or of High birth. It was the closeness that bothered him, not the people themselves. When finally the main press was done with Sir Walter G. Umber the third stood, quickly removing his case from the overhead compartment. He then looked about, turning for the nearest exit. Officially this was to be a simple, though very important case for him. One that should he wish, he could be done with then on the next aircraft back to Britain and his waiting home. This he did not wish, for there was a gentleman living here that he most desired to meet. A Solicitor of the old days who was now a legend in the law firm of Caltrop, Mazule, Misercode and Reiterpallasch. One who like so many fictional characters of his type, had never lost a case in his life. Here, though half a world away from England the man had proved his abilities again. Bringing forward his clients case, while carefully disproving every attempt to refuse her the rights granted by her husband. Most gently proving unacceptable the one person to show real interest.

Walking off the aircraft Sir Umber almost instantly discovered the reason his hero had remained on this little island nation. Why, if the welcoming committee was anything to judge by, a man could live in pleasure all the days of his life, and at five shells to the pound this would be a very inexpensive nation to live in. With a smile he accepted the welcoming gifts of colored flowers, smiles and the view of more fur on one young lady than he had seen in total on the last forty or so women he had met in London. Yes, a full month here to ‘clear up any lingering difficulties’ as his employers had put it would be quite a delight. Expressing his thanks he forced himself away from those beauties, turning to the waiting customs officers.

“Business er pleasure” a rather rotund hedgehog asked while examining Umber’s passport.

“Business I am afraid my good man” he admitted. “For I must represent the House of Lords in a matter with one Lady Allworthy.”

“Ah. Tha Lady Susan or tha Lady Amelia” the hedgehog asked with a much lowered voice.

Sir Umber answered in just as low a voice, understanding that there would be those much interested in his business should they overhear. Being a person of most discreetness he accepted the question for what it was, an inquiry that would end up in the paws of the local bobbies even before he arrived at his hotel. “As Lady Susan has departed this world and I have no desire to follow her, it would then have to be the lady Amelia Allworthy.”

“Ah then” the hedghog continued, his voice returning to normal. “Anythin yahd like tah declare?”

Sir Umber smiled, a rare thing for him these days with the constant workload that had been pressed upon him these last months. “As far as I am aware good sir, I carry nothing illegal by Spontoon law.” Offering up his locked lawyers case he pulled a chain from his neck, offering its attached key as well. “I do understand the need for your interest. Laws are known to change when one is in transit from one country to another far away.”

To his surprise the hedgehog waived away the key. “Tha Lady Amelia Allworthy. Her she has good reputation in Spontoon. But Songmark. Gotta warn yah sir. Thay ‘low no male through ther gates. Enjor yer visit, an iffin yah have time find yerself some fer pleasure as well.” He returned the case unopened. “Yer other luggage ‘ell be waitin other side of tha door. G’day sir.”

Surprised by the customs mans action, for every other nation he had visited had made a point of rummaging through that locked case, Sir Umber picked it up and walked through the indicated doorway. There he found his other two cases and more than a dozen waiting furs. “Marylebone” he asked politely.

“Two shell” the groups leader, a well groomed rabbit answered. “Take straight. Carry all.”

“Two shells is a great sum of money” Sir Umber answered. “Perhaps I should simply call the hotel.”

“Two shell” the rabbit repeated. “Hotel charge three. You call. We wait. Still two shell.”

“I see. Tourist trap indeed.” Then he smiled. “Done, if the lady takes me.”

Without comment the rabbit looked over to a waiting feline. “Moleen, you take.” Then he turned his attention to the next tourist coming in. A well rehearsed union the fox decided as he followed his shapely feline out of the building. Mentally he made a note not to approach her. Though she was rather delightful to behold his luggage came in at a bit over nine stones. Anyone who could carry such weight without apparent effort was certainly not someone to upset. Though in truth he did prefer his ladies on the athletic side of any bar. In any case he had business to attend to first. Perhaps later pleasure, if he was very lucky. He was more impressed when the feline Moleen placed both his bags into a bicycle cart contraption with seating for two behind the half bicycle frame that she would be the engine for .

“You sit. I take Marylebone” she announced as she sat on the contraptions bicycle seat. Climbing into a surprisingly comfortable bench seat Sir Umber settled down, amused at his view. Moleen now stood on the bicycles peddles and in seconds they were away. Nor did she ever sit down. Whatever sights there might be he never saw, so delightful was that swaying tail before him. As well as the hips that it was well attached to.  

Arriving at the Marylebone, where uniformed bellhops quickly vanished with his luggage, Sir Umber made a point of giving his hired servant Moleen a full five shells. A pound was an awful lot for such a short trip he knew, but the view had been well worth it. When Moleen smiled at the tip and gave him a short bow, thus granting the view of even more delicately brushed fur he momentarily played with the idea of making an offer. Then decided against it. Business first he reminded himself. He would have no idea how much his decision raised his worth in the carefully watching locals eyes. Walking into the Marylebone he went directly to the counter to get his reserved room.

While signing the hotel’s ledger he noticed the typical rack of tourist traps. One item of interest to him was a Museum of Anthropomorphology. He had always liked Anthropomorphology, though in a stickily amateur way. His true passion was flutterbys. A fact which his employers found rather satisfying for some strange reason. Picking up a pamphlet as he followed his bellhop towards a rather grand staircase he deftly slipped it into his inside suit coat pocket.

“Your bath sir” the bellhop explained later as he opened the suites third door.

Sir Umber waved the boy off. “I am quite certain that I will find everything I should need son, still my thanks for your efforts” he explained. “My business requires that I speak with one of the students attending the Songmark Aeronautical Boarding School for Young Ladies. I have been carefully instructed by my employers that no man may enter those gates other than with dire emergency. How then may I contact the school.”

“Ah sir. Just have the desk put in a call” the younger fox answered. “Miss Hilda will patch it directly to your room sir.”

“Thank you. I shall do that. Is it possible to have tea delivered while I await my call?”

“Certainly sir. Fresh brewed Earl Grey and hot of course. Lemon curd and scones?” He noted the delighted look upon Sir Umbers face. “Ours is made fresh each morning sir. Butter, not cornstarch. I will bring up a setting immediately sir. Will there be anything else sir?”

“Not at this moment, thank you.” Sir Umber relieved himself of another five shell note. Fresh hot Earl Grey with butter lemon curd. He was truly in heaven now. Of course it was only because his employers were footing the bills for this trip he knew. So far he had made do with less than he would be expected, but here. “I just might break the bank” he told the closed door. Walking to the rooms telephone he rang the desk, putting in his request. They would ring his room he was informed, if he would just wait it shouldn’t take very long.

On Eastern Island within Songmarks well defined borders the feline instructor Miss Blande picked up the phone, it being her period to anchor the desk as it were. “Marylebone” she repeated. ‘Has Beryl run another of her business ventures there’ she wondered as the Day Manager explained his call. “Ah, it is Amelia then. Yes, please connect me. Thank you.” She waited, hearing nothing but clicks until as if from afar the sound of her caller being informed, then another click as the operator removed herself from the circuit and the line became clear again.

“Mrs. Blande?” a soft male voice asked. “I am Sir Walter G. Umber the third, Solicitor representing the British House of Lords.”

“I see. It is Miss, Lord Umber. Not Mrs.”

“My most sincere apologies Miss Blande. I must have misheard my instructions in London. Now to the reason for my call. I have been sent to officially present Lady Allworthy with copies of her papers that she may take the station now awaiting her presence. Is there any way I might properly meet with Lady Allworthy today?”

Miss Blande thought of where ‘Lady Allworthy’ was at the moment, most likely half way up the hardest climb next to Mount Kiribatori that existed on Spontoon, and cursing up a storm when she discovered that soft stone three quarters of the way up. “Not until late this afternoon Sir Umber. I am afraid she is quite unavailable at the moment.”

An almost snort of laugher drifted over the line. “I have been well briefed upon your educational schedule Miss Blande. Unavailable means deep in some body wrenching exercise if I am correct.”

“It does” Miss Blande admitted. “After supper then. There are special meeting rooms available at Song Sodas for business reasons. If you will be there just after six I will insure you that Amelia will meet you there. Should she come alone?”

“Alone?” A gasp of horror did come over the phone lines that time. “Lady Allworthy alone with an unmarried man not of her family or employ? No no Miss Blande. That simply cannot be allowed. If she does not have a secretary, or at least a bodyguard please have her bring her most trusted friend. Or yourself should you choose.”

“Six pm then Sir Umber. Good day.” Hanging up the phone the felines laughter exploded. Amelia improper when alone with a man? Only when she was interested in him. Pulling her notepad towards her the feline began composing a very cryptic note to be delivered to Amelia. Perhaps she would send that first year Lucy this time. Lucy and Helen did seem to get along quite well.

Just before six pm Sir Umber entered Song Sodas. A young skunk waitress approached him and listened politely as he quickly explained his business. Within minutes he found himself ushered into a rather secure room with a table capable of holding four. Even as he entered the room a pot of hot water with the makings for tea arrived. Compliments of Songmark’s Miss Blande he was told. With nothing better to do he settled down to making tea, all the while remembering that wonderful red jewel that was to be seen in the Museum of Anthropomorphology. He had purchased a paw colored photograph of the jewel, it being the closest to owning something that expensive that he would ever come in his life. He had just finished preparing his tea, and two others when the door opened allowing two very healthy young women to step in. Quickly the fox stood, as did any true gentleman when in the presence of a Lady.

Lady Allworthy was even more attractive than the photograph he had been shown. Her companion was a tigress, and no less attractive in her own way. Both wore freshly ironed Songmark uniforms, a note with three flowing flags off a single bar carefully sewn on the left arm of each. The symbol was echoed on their collars as well he noted. “Lady Allworthy” he said in greeting, bowing slightly before carefully sitting one of his cards on the table between them. “I am Sir Walter G. Umber the third. Solicitor representing the House of Lords in this case.” He looked toward the tigress, hoping for an introduction. His card he noticed when he looked back, had quietly vanished.

“Helen Ducros. From Texas” the tigress answered that look. “Lady Allworthy’s personal secretary. She has ask me tah do all tha talking here. Hurt ‘er voice taday. May we sit? Ahn times tight fer us. Passes are no good after sundown, wich is in ahn hour er so this tim o’ year.”

“By all means please” the fox answered, making to get the chair for Amelia, only to have Helen easily beat him to it. When the tigress went to sit she spun her seat around, putting its rather solid back between them. It was an unladylike way to sit the fox observed, but this young woman seemed comfortable that way. Then she was from the Wild West of the Americas he reminded himself. Women were much different there he had once been warned by a friend. Before sitting himself he offered his visitors tea. Amelia accepted, taking the milk and sugar without bothering to ask. Such a difference from his sisters Umber noticed. Helen though declined, sitting what had to be a hip flask onto the table. That it contained nothing but water would have surprised the fox.

Accepting that these two were not like the faint blooded women he was used to dealing with Sir Umber sat, reaching down to open his case and take a large sealed envelope from within. Sitting this on the table he paused to sip some tea. While doing so he took the opportunity to slow events down to a more normal pace. Setting the cup down he looked again at the two. That Lady Allworthy’s voice was perfectly fine would not surprise Sir Umber in the least, for this ploy of women who were nervous he was much used too.

“Very well Miss Ducros. My business here is only in regards to your employers claim to the Allworthy name, title and estates. My instructions in this case were made exceedingly clear in London. Other than to finalize this matter, I may do no other legal work without first contacting my company. Now then. As we are all aware. Upon Lord Allworthy’s passing it was found that his latest will, one that had arrived in London only days before. It named your employer as his wife. Subject to his own sisters unfortunate passing she would be sole heir to his name, hereditary title, estates, business accounts and seat in the House of Lords. In truth all things Allworthy.” He sipped his drink again, aware how the scent of two freshly washed and very healthy young women in this small room was affecting him. For they had been under heavy stress not but an hour before. Thus even freshly washed and in their best Songmark uniforms their bodies were still pumping out an enticing scent. It was only due to his own training that he was able to keep his tail under control, but barely. It fidgeted, causing him some discomfort. “Also your employer quite correctly obtained the services of a qualified Solicitor here in Spontoon to press her case. One well known to my own employers. He has again proven his reputation in that every form, every proof, every demand was filled with flawless precision.”

Helen offered his card to Amelia, surprising him as he could swear that he had watched her every move. That at no time had her paws left her arms. She looked at the young fox with some disinterest. “Caltrop, Mazule, Misercode and Reiterpallasch” Helen filled in. “Mah pop, he did business with yer firm couple three times. Go on.”

“Yes. Well.” This abruptness was pushing Umber off balance again. It was with effort that he regain that balance. “Your employers Solicitor followed all the requirements to discover any other claimant to the Allworthy name. In truth he went farther than required by law. Other that the young chambermaids daughter there simply are no further Allworthy’s alive even close to the main blood line. She of course is completely unacceptable by any of the Peers. Certainly the Crown would never permit her to inherit, even should she be the last Allworthy blood alive. Of those few who do survive, all those that by extreme stretch of the law might once have been acceptable. Well half are either in jail, a madhouse or otherwise now completely unacceptable.” He withdrew an ornate pocketknife, carefully breaking the seal on his envelope. Returning said blade to its pocket Sir Umber withdrew a large stack of papers. Then turning his attention to Amelia he noted the steadfast lack of emotion in her face. Good, not a gold digger he decided, having picked that line up from an American relation some years ago. “Therefore may I have the great honor to be the first to legally call you by your title Lady Allworthy. These are copies of all the papers regarding your case My Lady.”

“Papers” Helen demanded, holding out her left paw. Her right Sir Umber noted was no where to be seen. It hadn’t been since he took out his pocket knife he realized. Had he miss-stepped some custom? Certainly he hoped not. It would cause his company severe embarrassment and himself his position should Lady Allworthy have legal complaint as to his actions.

“Certainly Miss Ducros. All these papers are official registered copies of Lady Allworthy’s pedigree. Of course the originals have been placed in protected storage in London or Scotland. I am afraid that the Crown does not inform we mere Solicitors as to where such things are kept, and quite rightly so.” He offered the packet, one Helen gently retrieved from his paws. “Of course a packet like this was delivered personally by myself to the British Consulate early this afternoon. They are all now officially aware of your employers new station. You will find everything in order Miss Ducros. As of this moment your Mistress Lady Allworthy is the sole heir of Barrow on Furryness. All business’s, property, resources and obligations of aid, title and debt. No further claims may be made to her title as long as she lives. Any child she may bear and acknowledge, no matter whom the father may be, will inherit directly from her. In truth it is my companies considered opinion that Lady Allworthy may just be the last true blood alive and sane. You will find within that packet official documentation from the House of Lords accepting her claim and of course, one signed by the Crown itself. As of this moment the representative who was holding Lord Allworthy’s seat has been given his well deserved walking papers. Please understand that I mean no disrespect, but that wolverine abused the position he was intrusted with. His own actions leaving no one as his Allie. He was, I am afraid, completely unable to press forward any assistance for those he was charged to aid. So badly had he acted that he was officially snubbed two years ago. I can assure you both that his departure is well earned.”

“House o’ Lords”: Helen said, placing an ornately marked paper into Amelia’s paws. “Tha Crown” she continued after reading the next paper, placing an even more ornately marked paper over the first. “Petitions from Barrow in Furryness...” Amelia barely looked from each page as it was placed in her paws until finally she sat the growing pile down, holding a paw up to forestall Helen from placing any more in front of her. Standing she looked down at the handsome fox sitting before her.

“My most sincere apologies Sir Umber. I must leave” she explained in a completely healthy voice. “Helen will of course continue this as my official representative.” Without another word the feline turned and left.

Helen glanced to the door, then returned to continuing her careful reading of pages, setting each one down on the pile Amelia had left. Each in almost perfect alignment. “Mayor of London, fancy paw-writtin. Rights ahn Obligations in tha House of Lords. Church o’ England...” She went on until the last page was done with. “All seems tah be here. All correct. Anythin yah need signed?”

“No Miss Ducros.” He paused, looking at his paws a moment then returning his attention to the Tigress. “Miss Ducros. About Lady Allworthy. Did I say something to upset her? She seemed most disturbed.”

“Nah. Been ill. Ahn noh has tah figure ah way tah break this to er family” the tigress explained. “Gotta admit, that Allworthy name really isn’t that best righ now.”

He took another drink of his tea, emptying his cup before deciding to answer. “But her father has already been made aware of his daughters new position. As required both by custom and law he was notified even as I left for Spontoon. To be truthful Miss Ducros. Before my briefing I fully detested this assignment. It was my belief that the Allworthy name should be regulated to the historical tip where it belong. That as true until I met a rather interesting bulldog at my club. A retired Major who happened to have met your employer. He was very quick to explain to me the truth of your employers position, situation and her moral position. That she was tricked into that marriage was a shock, Lord Leon Allworthy normally simply took what he wanted wither freely offered or not. As to why he bothered to marry Lady Allworthy no one understands. Unless it was because he could not marry his own sister.” He noted the look of distaste upon Helen’s face. “Yes well I do apologize. Yet there is nothing but the truth in my words. Now. Since my business is done here I shall depart. Your Lady has obviously chosen to surround herself with women she can trust. I will admit that in proper society many side words will be passed about this, as may be understood. Hens will cluck for no other reason than to cluck. But she has chosen well from the reports I have read.“ Standing he picked up his now much lighter case. “Good day to you Miss Ducros. I wish the four of you great success in life. It is my hope. My belief that this will be the one Allworthy that drags that name out of the filth it is currently mired in.”

Leaving he stopped at the front counter only long enough to settle his bill. Then he was off to one of those rather delightful water taxis. A quick trip to Meeting island to speak with his hero, to pass on the good news (along with a copy of his clients packet of course) then back to the Marylebone. Sleep in a real European bed was paramount, but tomorrow he would find some place to relax and enjoy a good meal. A night out after a successful assignment was one of his habits.

It was Miss Devinski who was waiting at the gate when Helen arrived, leaning against the gatehouse while two second years tried their best to appear completely uninterested in what was going on. “Done deal?” the hound asked.

Offering over her pass, and the envelope filled with legal papers Helen couldn’t resist a laugh. “Done Miss Devinski. Amelia will surly never live this one down.”

Accepting the documents Miss Devinski glanced at the sky, returning her gaze to Helen just in time to watch the tigress gaily hop over the line like a little girl. “You are full of it this evening” she commented as a priestess’s voice rose to sing the sun goodnight.

“Ah Miss Devinski. Yah should’a seen Amelia’s face when Sir Umber joyfully congratulated her as THE Lady Allworthy. It was ah classic. I don’t think anything worse could happen tah her before end of term.”

“She could fail” Miss Devinski suggested as she started walking towards her office, giving Helen a signal to follow her. “That would be worse.”

“Maybe” Helen admitted. “If she was gonna fail, yah would have dumped her last year with that Huntin License. She hasn’t tha hiddin weakness yer failed third year has.”

“Agreed. Helen. Do you think I should, as you put it, dump her for this?”

Helen stopped walking as her tutor paused, looking around her to insure they could not easily be heard by other students before speaking. “Yah didn’ for tha huntin licence. For Lord Leon taken advantag oh her good nature. Trustin ways. Not for coming back from Gilbert & Sullivan islands expectin and noh for her little side trips with Lars. Which was worse. Honest.”

“Lars. So we have a name that is as deep in filth as ever could be. Do you honestly think that Amelia is the one to carry that name out into the light?” She started walking again, Helen easily falling into step with her. For a long time the tigress was silent, until they reached Miss Devinski’s doorway.

“Ah honestly believe so Miss Devinski. Oh before she came here? No. But now yeah. Certainly. She’s dense sometimes but we all are really. Yah can’t know everything, not even if Beryl claims tah do so. Hah, I’d like tah see Beryl face Oharu. Try tah scam her. That I’d give good silver tah watch. Anyway Amelia’s hearts right. If it can be done, then it’ll be her that does it.”

Placing her paw on her door lever Miss Devinski looked past Helen to the third year dorms. “Very well. Please inform the Lady Allworthy that I will expect a full report upon her new status, including exactly what she intends to do for her people and how she plans to drag that name from the mud.” She opened her door, turning away from the tigress. “And a full report from you about to-days meeting. By this time tomorrow if you please.”

Helen didn’t even flinch. She had expected that demand of her and had already outlined in her mind what she would say. Turning back to her dorm the young tigress walked with a lighter step. She had held a paper signed by the Crown of England. She was as close a friend to a true Lady as she could be, even if said Lady did not want the title. And she had seen Amelia so frightened that she couldn’t speak. Now considering what they had faced already, that was a true first. Life couldn’t get better today she decided. Then the next step changed that thought. Life couldn’t get better than reading Amelia’s report of her future as Lady Allworthy. Oh yes, tonight was going to be filled with good dreams.

Amelia was sitting on her bed looking out the rooms single open window when Helen arrived with Miss Devinski’s orders. Marie and Molly were studiously studying, or at least appearing to be doing so. Both were avoiding as best they could setting off a potential emotional bomb. “But I don’t want the title” the English feline almost wailed as Helen closed the door. “I... I am marrying Jerry” she announced abruptly. “They will not accept me then.”

Helen laughed, beginning to undress. This was her best Songmark uniform and she hadn’t the funds to replace it anymore. “How many Lords married nice young girls from India” she asked, her rough Texas accent now gone. “Or America, France, Germany. Even Espanola?”

Amelia gripped her paws into tight fists, using the pain of her claws biting into the tough pads below to keep her temper. “Yes yes. Quite correct” she admitted. “Jerrie would be accepted, as my pet. Oh father. What am I going to tell him?”

“Donno” the Texan admitted as she carefully folded her skirt. “Lawyer said he’d already been notified. So its outta yer paws now Amelia. Ah mean Lady Allworthy. Well, I guess that means you won’t have to go hungry repaying Alpha for those breakers now will you?”

Standing very slowly Amelia took a very deep breath. “I think I best talk to Lady Whitehall this next pass” she decided. “Marie, will you please arrange introductions?”

Looking up from her typing the Italian bovine blinked. Startled out of her concentration she ran that request through her mind for potential traps. “Oh yes. Lady to Lady” she explained to herself. “Requires certain social dances around a simple salutare. Yes my Lady Allworthy. Most certainly I shall be delighted to represent you in placing a meeting.”

“MARIE!”

In Miss Devinski’s office four voices were raised in laughter. Of all the things Amelia had done these last three years, of all the good and bad choices. This one was being forced upon her. To renounce the Allworthy name she would have to first find someone of pure line to renounce it too, and their claim would have to be the stronger. Not bloody likely Miss Blande laughed as she sipped her own wine. Not after that hound Solicitors work. He wasn’t known as the best for no good reason.