Katrina Cooks

The usual suspects copyright Mr. Simon Barber

Used with permission

The idea came up while resting on top of the climbing cliff at the North edge of Eastern Island. It wasn’t Alpha’s idea, not exactly, more it was complaints by her dorm mates about how their carefully squirreled away snacks were made near useless by the action of climbing. Cookies were nothing but crumbs, slices of sausage were mashed beyond recognition. Even the packets of nuts that they had obtained at Eastern Islands native market were too salty to eat without water, and water they didn’t have enough of to waste. Plus there was the problem that almost every packet contained peanuts, to which Elizabeth was deathly allergic too.

“What we really need” the nutria was saying as Alpha turned her full attention to the conversation. “Is a prepackaged bar that will fit into shirt pockets, be healthful, full of energy and not be ruined by daily things like climbing, swimming or long forced hikes.”

“It would be quite helpful if it were to have a long shelf life as well” the well rounded rabbit Katrina added. “Without the peanuts so many such as you are so very allergic too Elizabeth.”

Just then Miss Blande’s voice informed them much too soon, as always seemed to be the case, that their five minute break was up and they had but fifteen to safely descend the same cliff that they had just ascended, then make it to the waiting water taxis. “Wedidthisbefore” Alpha complained even as she rolled onto her feet and reached for a pawhold.

“An will again dear” Katrina agreed. “We are but apprentices and will again and again until our Mistress’s feel we do understand the need.”

Wisely Alpha kept her response to herself, certain proof that she was learning when to, and not to voice her own opinions.

That night, after all four had showered, finished their reports and were exhaustedly awaiting lights out Alpha brought the food subject up again. Not that it was an unusual subject as even third years were constantly talking about it, or the lack of it. “”Elizabeth” she said, more to catch the nutria’s attention than to ask a question as yet.

“No I will not let you checkmah basline agin” the nutria answered, still reading the letter that had been awaiting her upon finishing kitchen duties. “Shoud-ah-nah made that bet.”

“No. Didthat lastweek” the shrew reminded her larger friend. “Notneedagain. Untilnextyear. Was...” She paused, forcing herself to slow her words again. It always happened, even after so long an exhausting day, as a project came to mind she would simply link her words together into one long one. Taking a deep breath Alpha counted to ten, in base two. “About food” she continued. “Everyone complains about choices. No one likes what I eat. Is happy medium possible?”

Elizabeth laid her letter aside, rolling over to look at the smaller shrew. “You mean somthin that’s not ‘Scientifically Processed?’ Yeah, I think should be something, think somethin to fit in a shirt pocket, double wrapped so it isn’t bothered by crushin, dirt, grease, water ahn such. Sticky enough that it hold tagether, but not so sticky it makes ah mess. Natural, long storage life sealed ahn full of energy.”

“That will be a difficult project” Megan laughed from her own bed above the larger nutra. “I look forward to your completing it.”

Alpha tho was silent. She was thinking and as always when concentrating upon a problem the shrew’s eyes glazed over as though she were drugged. Everyone waited, knowing that an answer would soon be forthcoming even if not a believable one.

“Katrina” Alpha abruptly asked a moment after her eyes returned to normal. “You are cook yes?”

Looking down at the shrew from her upper bunk the rabbit smiled sourly. “Well yes darling, I am. All girls were required to learn as was expected of them by society as not everyone is capable of hiring servants you understand. Most must be capable of feeding their own families but why?”

“What not processed foods have long shelf life?”

Katrina shrugged. “If you are speaking of sealed from the air, as Elizabeth has mentioned quit a few. Mostly grains, nuts and a few dehydrated things such as raisins. Honey is nearly immortal but why do you ask.”

Alpha grinned though no one could see it from their positions. “Make list those. Saturday we have twelve hour pass if not make mistakes. You. I. We go shopping. I buy.” A few minutes later lights out was announced for first years. With a welcome groan that even board hard beds were welcome after a day like today, all four were very soon asleep.

That Saturday with freshly minted passes in paw Alpha Rote and Katrina Schmidt made their way past the second year roadblock and out of Songmarks only gate. Walking almost to Song Sodas they turned right, heading further down past the inviting Water Taxi pier and on to a large open air market.

“I need certain things” Alpha explained as she gave Katrina ten shells. “You purchase needed foods. Meet back here in hour.”

“One hour Alpha, I shall certainly be here but so much money..”

“I break gold coin with Miss Devinski. She give thirty-five shells for old worn one ounce coin. Is same as Casino Island rate. One hour.”

Katrina watched the shrew vanish into a crowd of metal selling stalls, wondering what the mad scientist was up to. Then she too turned away, almost diving into the food markets. To bargain again, even if it wasn’t her money, oh she had missed bargaining since leaving home for Songmark. This was going to be a delightful time for the Southern born rabbit.

As promised an hour later Katrina spotted Alpha coming towards her. She was carrying what looked to be a suitcase, and a heavy one at that. Seeing Katrina the shrew smiled, waving to her friend for two large bags of food items were sitting on the ground beside the waiting rabbit.

“I have extra money” Katrina informed Alpha. “If you will wait a moment I will find it for you.”

“Later” Alpha answered. “I find it then.” She pointed back the way they had come. “Twisted Prop has work-room waiting for us. I asked Megan to reserve while we shop. Is not that long a walk.” She gave Katrina a smile that melted the rabbits heart, causing her to almost reach out for the shrew.

‘Watch yourself little rabbit. ‘ Katrina warned herself. ‘You have broken one of his commandments already. Do not let yourself break yet another.’ So without a word she lifted the two bags and followed Alpha to the small hotel meant for pilots, thus it sat just outside the airports side gate. There they found Megan and Elizabeth waiting for them. Walking up to Alpha Megan dropped a key into her outstretched paw. “Work room three” she stated. “This better be good, he thought I was renting for Elizabeth and I.”

Alpha giggled at the Canadian Martins words. “You? Elizabeth? Never” she laughed. “You are not that way. Never will be. Thank, here are four shells I promise. Have good time.” Motioning Katrina to follow her the Cranium Island shrew took them to one of half a dozen workrooms. These were normally meant for pilots or their mechanics to work on small items while laying over at Spontoon. Usually radios, controls and other portable items found themselves here, to be opened up on the waiting bench for repair or modification. This time though fresh food found itself carefully laid out, while Alpha Rote opened her suitcase to remove some rather odd looking items as well as normal ones.

A stainless steel bowl of a large size found itself beside a paw-press. While measuring devices found themselves next to two rolls of Cellophane. One being clear the other dark blue, then there was the electric Cellophane Sealer and of all things a paw powered vacuum pump. Katrina took stock of what was there, her Songmark trained mind quickly understanding the why of Alpha’s choices.

“We have ten hours my child” the rabbit warned Alpha. “We are to create a food bar in ten hours?”

“That your job” the shrew answered. “Mine to make effective wrapper.”

“I see.” Katrina picked up one of two notebooks that Alpha had pulled from her bottomless suitcase. “And I am looking for what recipe?”

“Plump, delicious, flexible and not rot for months” Alpha explained. “And not pretty rabbit. That my meal one day. If had radium could expose to that when sealed, then not have to worry about storage time.” She sighed, absently leaning against the plumper rabbit. “So many things not available on Spontoon.” Standing straight as she realized what she had done Alpha blushed. “Sorrysorrysorry” she said quickly.

Katrina smiled, “I did not mind” she admitted. “Then to work.” Turning her attention to her own end of the table Katrina started working out in her mind what to do. No peanuts had meant buying somewhat more expensive nuts. Her ‘glue’ would be the expensive honey and pressed oats that she had purchased. Picking up a set of second paw cup measures she began to work.

Meanwhile Alpha began assembling her pre-designed press. After carefully cleaning all her equipment with grain alcohol she attached a rectangular solid bar to the small paw-press, this then slid into a hollow rectangular tube about six inches long. Opening up her knife and selecting a small maple board Alpha began carving a slot for the pipe to fit into. This would close one end of the pipe while on the press. Thoughtfully the shrew had purchased a two foot maple board and had it cut into a dozen equal lengths. One could never be certain when something might break after all so within her suitcase waited more rods and tubes, each cut from the same stock.

Three hours passed as Katrina tried cooking different mixtures. Discarding (but not throwing away, for most of the food was still good) mixtures that were too runny, tasted odd or otherwise did not satisfy her pallet. Managing the battered little gas oven proved a juggling act, still Katrina had been cooking on a wood stove since she was two (though Alpha’s serious question of how one kept a wood stove from burning up continually brought a smile to the rabbits face.) Finally though she had what she thought was the right recipe.

“Is what” Alpha asked when Katrina laid the still hot pan in front of her.

“Oats, brown sugar, a touch of vanilla, ground cinnamon, shredded coconut, raisins, sliced almonds , a bit of butter and honey” Katrina answered. “Try it.”

Carefully Alpha selected a small portion of the warm mixture. Hesitant to taste it, lest it taste her back she placed it in her mouth. After all it was obvious that Katrina liked her and this wasn’t a Cranium Island laboratory after all. When the taste hit her Alpha’s eyes opened wide. “Good” she managed over her next sample, a much larger sample for neither had eaten lunch.

“Then we shall make these bars with your device, or is it ready as yet?”

“Itisready.” Picking up a larger spoon Alpha scooped up a measured amount of the hot food, placing it into the waiting tube while using another clean, smaller spoon to push it in.

“What is the white material in your mold” Katrina asked, concern noticeable in her voice.

“Cornstarch. To makerelease easier” the shrew answered. When she had all she could shove into the pipe Alpha sat both spoons into Katrina’s pan, then started pressing the bar with the waiting rod. That rod was marked at one inch intervals and as that mark approached the pipes edge sounds of air releasing could be heard. Within fifteen minutes all of Katrina’s cooking had been turned into bars, then while still warm half had been wrapped in cellophane, Alpha then vacuumed the air out and heat sealed the material, finally wrapped in blue cellophane and sealed again while the other half was wrapped in the opposite manner.

Looking at the twelve bars Katrina shrugged. “And now what?” Her answer was Alpha taking a waiting bucket to the water closet and filling it with cold water. Returning she dumped all twelve bars into it and waited. “When room temperature, wedotests” she explained.”

“Tests” Katrina repeated. She knew that there were tests that she wanted to do to the shrew, but forced those thoughts aside. It was, she realized, getting much harder to push aside those thoughts and they were beginning to be much more graphic images with them. “What tests have you planned?”

“Put intest pocket, squish. Rubindirt. Bend until breaks. Whatever canthinkof. Up to five tests. Last pair arecontrol.”

“I see, and who’s pocket shall we use” Katrina asked.

“Mine. If fail, not wantto ruin your uniform.” Alpha did not miss that smile, but did misunderstand it. A few minutes later she pulled out all twelve now cooled bars, separating them into pairs that she dried with a clean cloth. Their first test they discovered quickly told them that the colored cellophane had to be on the inside. It was the ‘squish’ test Katrina found most enjoyable. Alpha placed a bar in each of her breast pockets, closed them then told the rabbit to apply pressure. This Katrina did, her arms surrounding shrews warm flesh as though made to do so. “Harder” Alpha ordered as she wrapped her own arms about the rabbits and squeezed. “As if chest pressed for life against stone wall.” She could not know the pleasure she was giving Katrina, nor the shame the rabbit would feel later that night. This test though proved that the wrappings would not burst under that much pressure.

Later after their structural tests and taste tests, both young women were satisfied. Katrina turned to making dozens of more batches, using up most of her lesser supplies while Alpha spent her time turning still hot freshly cooked food into equal sized bars. Finally sealing them into sterile cellophane before they cooled enough for bacteria to colonize them. When they were done a hundred blue packages were stacked neatly on the counter.

“Now what” Katrina asked as she shut off the oven, leaving it open to cool quickly.

“Cleanareaofcourse ” Alpha answered tiredly. “Have forty-five minutes before pass is over.”

Quickly the two turned to cleaning their ends of the work area, then Alpha packed all the equipment into her suitcase while Katrina packed the bars into one of her two shopping bags, the other she filled with leftovers to give the cook. Waste not, want not the rabbit had been taught from birth.

“There are for what” Miss Blande asked.

“Emergency Food bars” Alpha answered.

Looking to Katrina the feline raised an eyebrow high. Carefully Katrina explained exactly what was in the bars, at what measurements and cooking temperature. “I turned over to the cooks what materials we had left over” the rabbit finished. “Mainly only oats and honey I am afraid, along with Alpha’s extra cornstarch.”

“I see. So, should I consume one of these I would not awaken in the morning to find myself being consumed by them?”

In answer Alpha picked up one of the bars at random, slitting it open with one claw and the wonderful smell of freshly cooked oats and honey quickly filled the room. Without a word the shrew then took a bite and began chewing.

“I believe that Alpha has given you your answer Miss Blande” Katrina explained.

Not to be outdone by a student, no matter how strange that student Miss Blande selected her own bar. After studying it she opened it and took a bite. “Very good” she exclaimed, looking down at the bar in her paw. “You created the recipe yourself?”

“With Alpha’s guidance as what was to be used. Yes Mam. Therefore this project belongs to both of us. Properly stored they should be good for a year or more, as they were all vacuum sealed while still hot. Why, Alpha burned her fingers so fast did she work.”

“Double wrapped, why?”

“Isexpected bedamaged” Alpha answered. “Doublewrap helpkeepsafe longer, butnot perfect. This wastest run. Needtougherouterwrap.”

“Very well and what may I ask are your intentions for this? Other than snacks.”

Katrina raised her paw, stopping Alphas next answer. “I will answer Miss Blande, as Alpha is beginning to connect her words too much, she is very tired. As everyone is aware students pack all forms of food into their uniforms, in the event of never unexpected call outs early in the morning. Sometimes these food choices are not the best and cause stains, crumbling, rotting and such. These bars are good for energy and fiber. True, the wrapping does need improvement though Cellophane does rot away naturally being a plant based product. It is also noisy and may be too susceptible to damage even with two layers of material. Perhaps a cloth or paper outer wrapping is a better choice, we were much limited to time and funds.” She waved at the blue stack of bars with one paw. “It is our hope that these may be given out to our co-students that they may be tested in the field.”

“I see. And for this they will get?”

“To eat the food of course, or not as is their choice.”

Miss bland tossed her empty wrapper into the trash-can by her desk. “You intend to sell these later?” she asked.

“We... Honestly Miss Blande we had not thought of that” Katrina admitted. “There was a problem and Alpha found a solution, it is what she does after all.”

“A challenge” the feline corrected. “Very well, there are how many bars now.”

“Ninety-eight.”

“Among sixty students would be one bar per student with thirty eight extra. I assume for the second and third years.”

“Yes Miss Blande” Katrina answered immediately. “But there are only nineteen third years.”

“Very well, I will arrange for all second and third years to receive bars. Everyone will give a report at the end of a week, including yourselves. There will be a cost young ladies, when you sell your idea you are to arrange two gross of bars to be delivered to Songmark. You see we are actually running out of canned Mantacontie. If these are half as good as I think they may be they will make an excellent replacement. Now release Alpha’s paw before you break her bones Katrina. Dismissed.”

And so the Song Bar was born.